Either a new Sonata or someone took a huge shit in the road
From BrokenWorldNews.com
FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CA—Officials at Hyundai’s U.S. headquarters announced that the struggling car company has issued a recall on every Hyundai vehicle currently in service in America. A spokesman says the recall isn’t to address any specific safety issues, but rather, because the design of the cars is so hideous.
“When you see one of our cars on the road, you instantly think, why would anyone buy that piece of shit?,” says Hyundai spokesman Ken Little, “It’s that realization that’s led us to this decision.”
While the Korean automaker has slowly gained a foothold in the highly competitive U.S. automobile market, its shareholders have become increasingly embarrassed by the ridiculous appearance of the products they’ve somehow convinced consumers to give their hard-earned money for.
“The blame falls on all of us,” says Little, “From the CEO all the way to the dealerships. And don’t forget about the banks who have agreed to finance the purchase of these blights on the highways. Honestly, how can anyone defend loaning money for something that looks like it was taken from one of those low-budget, 80s-era science fiction crap-fests set in a dystopian future? Every time I see one I feel sick to my stomach.”
Little says the automaker has stopped production of all models of its pieces of shit as board members convene to discuss the future of the company. In the meantime, Hyundai owners are being asked to either return their vehicle to the dealership where it was purchased or park it in a garage and cover it with a tarp immediately.
“Our hope moving forward is that a new hipster era will emerge where super cool young people will want to drive these eyesores ironically,” says Little, “Until then, we’re looking at other options, including issuing fake temporary Kia emblems to owners to display on these fucking wastes of space.”
